Dear Mum & Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've eloped with my new boyfriend.
I've found real love and he is so nice. Especially with all his piercings, scars, tattoos, and his big motorcycle.
But it's not only that, I'm pregnant, and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his caravan in the forest. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams too.
I've learned that marijuana does not hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and Ahmed's friends.
They're the ones providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want.
In the meantime we'll pray to Allah for science to find a cure for AIDS, so Ahmed can get better. He deserves it.
Don't worry about money. Ahmed has arranged for me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their basement. Apparently I can earn £200 per scene. I get a £200 bonus if there are more than three men in the scene and an extra £100 for the deer.
Don't worry Mum. Now I'm 15 I know how to take care of myself.
Someday we'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Sandra
P.S. Dad, it's not true. I'm watching TV at the neighbours.
I just wanted to show you that there really are worse things in life than England losing the Ashes!
Hope you enjoyed the joke too, now read our latest news in the post below.
No comments:
Post a Comment