Some Monday Updates

Sunday was a busy day ... well kind of busy! The bike ride went off pretty well with a 10k ride around the estate after the sun was up for a while and things were a bit warmer. After a couple of phone calls it was nearly 10 am. I watched a footy panel show on TV before heading to the local supermarket to stock up on a few items. From there it was to the garage and bottling my latest brew. It was a bit time consuming but by 12:45 I had a bite to eat and was ready to watch footy on TV all afternoon.

After the matches were all over and I had polished off the last of the Devilled Sausages" I watched "The Cinderella Man", a Russell Crowe movie which told the true story of a boxer's ups and downs during the depression years. It was a bit soppy in places but not too bad.

This morning (Monday) I caught up with Tony again and we completed a 20k bike ride. I then gave the floors a good vacuum and steam clean and the place looked pretty good. Later today I am heading around to mate's for more PC stuff and he has invited me to stay for a meal.

Trish returns home Wednesday morning at about 10:30 am.

Days are sunny and the temp gets to the low 20's though there is talk of up to 27 on Wednesday. This is a bit better than Lou Ann's 41 she is getting on a daily basis in Texas! Now that is a bit too warm!

Home From Computer Club

It is Saturday afternoon and I have recently returned from the morning at the Computer Club. I was able to help a few people and actually received some "Thanks". One elderly guy I was speaking with had just returned from a holiday to Malaysia. He must be in his mid seventies and was telling about how much he had enjoyed things. I asked him where he stayed when in Penang and he told me about a Guest House in Chulia St he loved at about AUD$6 per night. Just incredible some of these oldies!

I managed to get John safely to the Airport at Maroochydore Friday morning well and truly in time for him to catch his flight back to Melbourne. It was great having him here and helped me spend time while Trish was in Melbourne. The photos you see here were taken while John was here.

The top photo is the wreck of the S.S. Dicky after which the beach was named.

After dropping John off with his Mum for the night, I hurried back home as I had received a phone call from a long time ago colleague of mine, Kevin Hughes and his wife Di. Kev and I taught in adjoining classrooms at RAAF School Penang in 1977-78. It was great to catch up again and check out where everyone from those days was and all the news.

Friday afternoon saw me around to Tony's place to show him how to convert movies I download into DVD format. We had a couple of drinks too. During the morning I made myself a casserole dish which will probably do me for 3 evening meals. Fortunately it was delicious.

Footy on TV should fill the rest of the weekend. On Monday I am around to a mate's place for tea. I have lawns to mow, a car to wash and floors to do as well as a load or two of washing before I collect Trish at about 10:30 on Wednesday.

Hope you like the joke below!

With Thanks Again To Jan

As a school principal, to keep staff up with the latest Educational and Management developments was a crucial role. The piece below came from a former staff member who had a major role in developing Professional Development Programs for all staff.

Five Minute Management Course

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'


Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'


Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'


Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.


Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:

Bull S*!t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..


Lesson 6:


A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who S*!ts on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of S*!t is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep S*!t, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!


THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

A Busy Week

Since I last posted we have had several glorious days after a showery Monday. Lately temps have been around 23 and hardly a cloud in the sky. Monday wasn't too good and today Thursday will be about 22 with cloud building.

I collected my mate John from the airport in drizzly rain on Monday morning. We have had a great time with plenty to drink, a great night out at the RSL followed by a much quieter evening at Dicky Beach Surf Club. We have had some walks along the foreshore. The photo above shows John catching up on the latest news on the internet.

The other shots on this page will be of our walk along Dicky Beach and then below on a pathway through to Lake Currimundi. From there it was back via the beach to where the car had been parked. One of the shots also shows how much sand has been washed away from sunshine Coast beaches with storms we have experienced in the first half of 2009.

Remember to click on the photos for a bigger view then click on "Back" to return to this page.



John heads off to stay with his Mum tonight and then I will get him to the airport so he can fly home tomorrow morning. Then it is washing bottles etc to get my supplies back up to date!

Are You A Golfer?

The joke below is a little on the risque side but should appeal to golfers.

With thanks to Jan!

Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favorite moment of the week. Then, one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city. It wasn't quite the same without him.

A new lawyer, a woman, joined their law firm. One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round at the coffee table. Curious, she spoke up, "You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?"

The three lawyers looked at each other. They were hesitant. Not one of them wanted to say 'yes', but she had them on the spot. Finally, one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting pretty early, at 6:30 am.

He figured the early Tee-Time would discourage her immediately. The woman said this might be a problem, and asked if she could possibly be up to 15 minutes late. They rolled their eyes, but said this would be okay.

She smiled, and said, "Good, then I'll be there either at 6:30 or 6:45..." She showed up right at 6:30, and wound up beating all three of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She was a fun and pleasant person the entire round. The guys were impressed! Back in the clubhouse they congratulated her and happily invited her back the next week.

She smiled, and said, "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:45."

The next week she again showed up at 6:30 Saturday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed. The three lawyers were incredulous as she still managed to beat them with an even par round, despite playing with her off-hand. By now the guys were totally amazed, but wondered if she was just trying to make them look bad by beating them left-handed. They couldn't figure her out. She was again very pleasant and didn't seem to be trying to show them up, but each man began to harbor a burning desire to beat her!

In the third week they all had their game faces on. But this week She was 15 minutes late! This had the guys irritable because each was determined to play the best round of golf of his life, to beat her. As they waited for her, they figured her late arrival was some petty gamesmanship on her part. Finally, she showed up.

This week the lady lawyer played right-handed, which was a good thing since she narrowly beat all three of them. However, she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play, it was hard to hold a grudge against her. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out!

Back in the clubhouse she had all three guys shaking their heads at her ability. They had a couple of beers after their round which helped the conversation loosen up. Finally, one of the men could contain his curiosity any longer... He asked her point blank, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"

The lady blushed, and grinned She said, "That's easy. When my Dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I have always had fun switching back and forth. Then when I met my husband in college and got married, I discovered he always sleeps in the nude.

From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his you-know-what was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed; if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed.

All the guys on the team thought this was hysterical. Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, "But what if it's pointed straight up in the air?"

She said, "Then, I'm fifteen minutes late."