Just reading this post will be a great cure for your insomnia!

Several representatives from awning suppliers in our area will be visiting our place early next week to give us 'quotes' for a blind to block off the end of the pergola
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An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.
So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Atlanta . There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same sign under it.
He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.
'O.K., thank you,' said the American.
He then travelled all across America, Europe, England, Japan, New Zealand.
In every church he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same '$US10,000 per call' sign under it.
The American decided to travel to Australia to see if Australians had the same phone.
He arrived at Perth in Western Australia and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same looking golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '40 cents per call.'
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've travelled all over the world and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches.
I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?"
The priest smiled and answered,
"You're in Australia now, son - it's a local call".
The woman said she was collecting on behalf of the Queensland Fire Service.
“She asked if I was aware of what was going on in Victoria and said they needed money,” Ms Pearson said.
“The lady then said the Queensland fire brigade was struggling too and needed more money.
“At the time I thought she sounded a bit dodgy, and when she asked if I’d like to buy some raffle tickets or make a donation, alarm bells started ringing.
You can't be too careful!Bob feared his wife Brenda wasn't hearing as well as
she used to and thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family
Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the
husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea
about her hearing loss.
Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet
away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone
see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and
so on until you get a response.'
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and
he was in the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away,
let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks,
'Honey, what's for dinner?'
No response.
So Bob moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet
from his wife and repeats, 'Brenda, what's for dinner?'
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about
20 feet from his wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.